Tina Miller writes.
I am a single girl on the south. I was brought up that morals and ethics are very important in life. I was married for eight and a half years. To an American man born in Santa Barbara, California raised in Wheaton, Illinois. I had fallen in love with an older man that saw the good in me and believed in me.
A dream come true, someone who loved me no matter what. I was bought up to be honest and loyal. I found myself in a marriage not knowing who I was, never experiencing the world or understanding how to please a man. Take in mind I grew up Baptist and was judged if I did anything that was sinful. I found myself with a cheating husband to an older woman.
After numerous attempts to try fix our marriage. I later entertained sexual positions and ideas. Like one day he suggested me being handcuffed to the bed while being blindfolded. This went completely against how a single respectable girl in the south should behave. I even tried to using a walkie talkie while he was outside our bedroom window instructing me what to do with a vibrator.
This was the first time in my life to even try these suggestions or more less adult toys.
I was willing to try anything to have my boys remain in a home where both parents loved each other and remained married. I later found out what I thought was a salvageable marriage now was a marriage of convince. It ended up where we shared custody of the children, living in separate homes. ‘Since my divorce, I had many relationships that honesty was very important key factor in my life. However, the lovers in my relationships seemed to look good in bed and from the outside of the social world. However, inside I was screaming just to be respected and treated like a lady.
One day I get a call when at my mother’s house and it was a gentleman I knew awhile back by the name of Scott. We later started dating and I decided to go against my up bringing by moving in before being married. My parents meet him and liked him. I got the thumbs up. I told Scott I would not have sex with him till I was married, he was fine with this. Now Scott had just gotten out of prison for making some Italian people mad and Bernie Madoff. I didn’t judge or hold anything against him because he assured me, he was framed, and it wasn’t his fault. I trusted him. As I promised after a year, I would marry him, and we went to the Dominican Republic to get married.
Shortly after that he told me a bellhop guy married us and that is why there was no marriage license. Take in mind being tricked and lied to was bad enough but to live in sin was even worse. He started to act shady and conspicuous. Time passes by and he decides to do a business with this gentleman and his wife. I ask him if they were legit. I would later decide to investigate myself since no one answering my questions are listing to me. When Scott would go to sleep, I would take his computer and download anything I could find under key words that dealt with finances, money or any other word I could think of to find any information to help me understand what he may be up to. I had my children there and I didn’t feel he had my safety or the children’s. I later located a credit card he got under my sons social etc.
Being questioned by me made him angry and making excuses a lot. Scott would leave the house for a in leu of getting a job to get us out of the shack like house. Scott would return home and assure me all is well and business deals that were legit. Later Scott seemed to be required to be gone more often and being to be abusive. It seemed Scott had a double life. We had a friend who was a psychologist/councilor. Scott suddenly would say stuff like he was in a cult. Scott stated that I was supposed to be sacrificed on an alter but he asked,” Is the anyone one that can take her place?” If things weren’t bad enough, now I had to fear being sacrificed. I sent the police the recording in Gwinnett county. I had a friend Sidney who came by and had experienced what I called the creepy people in the yard. If anyone seen or experienced the fear and crying to get to a safe place and no funds but to hope and pray to be saved. I found out criminals do not like non- criminals. I found a document later that Scott was in a whistle blowers’ program. What is worse is I felt the government cared about Scotts safety over mine and my children’s. I reached out to police and FBI through David Yates, the director of dolphin Tales in Clearwater Florida. I meet with David Yates and told him everything I knew and gave any documents I found from moving also what I downloaded. I was so distressed, lost, scared and lived in fear of my life and my children’s. I just loved the fact that David Yates believed in me and invested his own time and money to make sure Scott didn’t get away with everything thing he had done criminal or the harm of endangering mine and my children’s life.
▲ valintino69 Much to my surprise Alberto was kind, loving and no judgmental. After talking, we both agreed we wanted a relationship and agreed to see each other only. Just what a woman wants to hear, a man who can be faithful and loyal
I had no where to go or anyone to move to be safe. My oldest went to my mothers and my son and I went to a hotel till we found a safe location. This attempt to love and happiness ended in a failure. During my stay in the hotel I found myself attracted to the mobsters. You may say, “Why on earth would you choose that type of man, considering how you were raised?" The simple truth is, I really can't answer that. I suppose the old saying, “opposites attract." Being a single girl in the south, I finally decided to get back into the dating scene. I asked a few of my friends where they had any luck in finding a man. One person told me to go to POF. I said, “What is POF?" They replied, "Plenty of Fish." Well, I gave this site called Plenty of Fish (POF) a try. I guess you can say now I am fishing.
Much to my surprise I stumbled across a man on Plenty of Fish by the name valintino69. This man looked Italian. In his bio, it stated, he was looking for a great honest woman. He was located in John's Creek which was not far from me. I decided to reach out to this so called valintino69. We began to communicate for awhile. I eventually agreed to meet him on his boat on Lake Lanier in June 2018. When I arrived I found myself on this small but quaint boat called “Last Call" with imported tile from Italy.
It was quant and cozy inviting like Alberto. Alberto was charming, dark and handsome. When we talked, I explained to Alberto the ground rules on how I was expected to be respected and treated like a princess. I told Alberto I was not a slut, whore, call girl, prostitute or any unrespectable description anyone can be embarrassed to be seen with in society. I am looking for a princes charming man who can put me on a pedal stool. I am seeking a single man, not married man (I had been tricked before and it’s unfair and I would not tolerate this kind of behavior also a man who screws around behind a woman’s back).
I expect loyalty, honesty and above all a man who can keep his private parts in his pants. (unless he should require using the restroom to as a friend stated to me” To do his Pee Pee.” I “Princess Di “give him permission. I even proceed to tell him everything good and bad of what al had transpired before meeting him. This way if Alberto was going to not like me this was a way to find out. Much to my surprise Alberto was kind, loving and no judgmental. After talking, we both agreed we wanted a relationship and agreed to see each other only. Just what a woman wants to hear, a man who can be faithful and loyal. Later Alberto decides to call me “Princess Di”. To be called “Princess Di” as my AKA name out in public.
It was a privilege, beautiful and I had always admired her. It’s a honor to be seen like “Princess Di”. The name suited me so well. Alberto assured me he would not see another woman or travel with another woman and only be intimate with me. I just hit the lottery. A man who has morals and ethics more valuable than what money can buy. I continued to see him and document when we connected, so I could keep track of our time together. I did this because in my life time if I needed to know a date for either my last doctor visit or just something that I felt was important to recall. I was trying get myself in a routine of keeping track of events. In the beginning we saw each other once or twice a week.
▲ Alberto decides to call me “Princess Di”. To be called “Princess Di” as my AKA name out in public. It was a privilege, beautiful and I had always admired her. It’s a honor to be seen like “Princess Di”. The name suited me so well.
Later his business required more of his time. We always found time for each other in texts, phone calls and what I call conjugal visits as time passes by I found myself trying to meet Alberto to celebrate special occasions, like his birthday which was August 17 and mine was August 18. Alberto and I seemed to have bad timing because his work schedule didn't permit him much time to spend with me or to help me financially because he said he had no money but a Maserati and a Bentley he owned with no living residence but from time to time he would stay with his cousin in house near governor’s mansion(which I asked to meet cousin and go to family functions and to stay a couple days to spend time with Alberto) or last resort his brothers house in Suwannee Georgia .
Alberto stated his house in Miami he was originally going to let me live was no longer available and house in Johns creek he sold. I was disappointed because I was homeless and living in a hotel till, I could get a home with someone’s assistance.
I trusted Alberto about him not having any money or place to keep me safe and off the streets. I didn't mind, I was happy, as long as, I had him in my life. A couple times I asked to go the restaruants in Buckhead or dance in the private club in a hotel I will not say. As time goes by, I began to ask him questions like, ” Why I could not I go with him on his business trips?" I received an answer "No, I travel with only my male friends and no females are allowed." I reassured him that I could entertain myself and I would not interfere with him or the men. I could entertain myself till he got back to me. I also asked Alberto, “When will, I get to meet your family?" He would either reply “Don’t ask questions or Its my way or the highway." This rather confused me, I felt after a year I should have meet his family so I could let them know how grateful I was to have Alberto in my life and I would do my best to make sure I would learn what it takes to earn their respect and trust. At one point, ideas of him being married after he told me in the beginning of June 21, 2018 he was single and looking for an honest woman. I was trying you justify his actions and responses.
At one point , I had even asked " I hope your not married or seeing another women or introducing another woman to your family since I have not had the opportunity ,. " Alberto assured me he had been faithful and had no interest in anyone else but me “Princess Di”. Alberto ability to be so kind without judgement to gently put things in a way that he was sup portative and not emotionally damaging. At one point I asked him if he had gone behind my back to go hang out or have sex with my new boss, Dr. Emeruwa. Alberto said, “are you crazy?” “I don’t date black women, or I am not that low to do that to you”. Alberto stated there is not any other woman or I am not seeing Dr. Emeruwa, she is not my type and she is black” I trusted Alberto and tried hard not to think negative because I needed to trust he was telling the truth. Just when I thought my life was settled and stabilized with a full-time boyfriend who was never around, hard to find, was not married, was single and travels a lot. I find myself in “The Unknown".
▲ I trusted Alberto and tried hard not to think negative because I needed to trust he was telling the truth.
As if it wasn’t hard enough to be a single woman in today's social scene, who is trying to get independent emotionally and financially. There was a need to be careful of the sharks, wolves and shady charters so it doesn’t taint or reflect on my credibility or character. It was reassuring Alberto considered all the hardships I had been through with abonnement, abuse, and my son Andrew almost dying on me while homeless in the hotel.
I found my son had HIV. As things got worse it seemed, I found that I had no one not even the church could help me. I had to be strong minded, will and determination be needed and the desire to also find a way to fight for others in humanity down the road to help them avoid what I was going through. Finding out how HIV can make you so sick to the point of dying, to the thoughtlessness of a partner in your past life not informing you they had aids is an eye opener. Told Alberto this would make anyone think twice in sleeping around for self-gratification. That in fact it would make you defiantly stay sexually intimate with one person, hence why I remained a loyal and honest woman with him even when got angry at me and put me in time out which is where he wouldn’t talk or see me for months till he was no longer angry at me.
Time seemed that it had passed by so fast with Alberto, it was now August 21, 2019 which made our relationship One year and two months. Alberto now 50 years old and me 49 years old. As time passes by the thoughts Alberto was married and not single became heavy on my heart even more than ever. There were times I couldn't find him and he travelled more which in turn I got to see him 2-4 times a month. We would meet for dinner, to his boat for privacy to make love only to wake up to him flying out for work. I found myself finding it hard to cut me loses, omitting mistakes or if I was wrong. No matter what Alberto was kind and loving to me. I felt life began to present difficult situations. As a single woman in Georgia trying to gain financial independence, finding a home and not homeless.
In today's society and social circles, I have been enlightened with a couple of events around the world. The me too movement, The Age of Bill Clinton, Jeffery Epstein, to Prince Andrew. The Me Too Movement allowed survivors of sexual violence to heal. A movement to interrupt sexual violence. Bill Clinton, Jeffery Epstein and Prince Andrew was like a mover and shakers in the democratic circle. They entertained the rich and powerful in and out of the USA. They had luxury homes, private islands and much more. They had lots of parties and at these parties were woman of age and under age. It was a hush hush. Young women, prostitutes and models from all over the world would go to these lavish parties just to get close to the rich and famous. With these events you could have a choice to be pure or wild in society. Ask yourself, "Are these conflicting beliefs or not? In society most people hopeful were brought up to morals and ethics. With the reflection of pride and self respect. This is not different from the women in the world and in the Me Too Movement. I was one of the women in the unknown amount of women in the world who was abuse and etc. I am sure there is a collection of women around the world like myself who trusted someone and was taken advantage of their niceness for a weakness.
You just like that sitting duck on the pond that is about to get shot. You better just hope there isn't a dog who's tail just got stepped on. He will defiantly be in the mood to bite. So between being shot and bitten, I suggest you avoid being in that situation all together. Believe in yourself and not matter what bad event comes your way, just breath and remind yourself you’re beautiful and you deserve the best that life has to offer. During my relationship with Alberto I found he had fancy cars but did not own his own home for us to have some private time for dinner and alone time.
However, the little boat (not his big boat) was the only place for us to see and enjoy each other.Alberto did tell me he was helping build a church. That is beautiful, I said to Alberto. I then asked Alberto if he could ask the priest if they could help me(I was anxiety attacks from feeling abandonment and rejection and my emotions and cry a lot) Alberto said he would ask and keep an eye out for anything. I continue to drive and meet Alberto at the lake Lanier. We would go to dinner at places near the lake only or if I was lucky the hotel at lake Lanier, at the lake or his brother's house in Suwannee, Georgia.
There were times I had to ask for help to get away from an abusive situation. I was homeless at one point forced to become a slave to someone. I myself found putting his needs and wants above my needs or feelings. I found myself staying home, not going out and socializing to make sure Alberto knew I loved him and respected him. This is just what an honest woman would do for the man she is seeing and being intimate with without being married. At one point, I told Alberto I was not having sex anymore till he put a ring on my finger. Still waiting on the ring. After my request to put aa ring on my finger, Alberto brought to my attention of the difference of word selection can be a communication barrier. I was very careful to respect his culture along with how I should be respected and get a ring. Not that my request was wrong. I found times I am just horrible expressing without it being aggressive but loving. My concerns and desires of my needs for myself I found hard to verbalize. I tried accepted whatever he said because I loved him.
During my relationship with Alberto, I got a job at a doctor’s office as a medical assistant. Dr. Cathy was nice, and office seemed to have good people working there. Later I decided to tell Alberto the good news and give him my new work address to come pick me up for lunch. Dr. Cathy later made me feel like I could ask her questions about sexual awareness, her main expertise. One day Dr. Cathy and I go out to network. It ended being a long night. Dr. Cathy somehow ended up having followers and we ended up at the intercontinental. I found myself no way to go and request to make sure she is ok. I did ask requested because I was her personal assistant and I care about people.
I experienced some things that night and felt to tell Alberto. As an honest woman would do. I feel honesty in relationship is a important in communication in a relationship. I was feeling ashamed of myself because what I witness, I should have walked. Alberto was kind and brought to my attention if a situation is bad or event that happens, please be careful. People can take a perfect innocent situation and either misread it or read into it wrong. I later found out Dr Cathy ran into my ex Scott con man and was trying to make a business deal with her. I went to my car to get my phone to have her identify him. Dr. Cathy confirmed it was him and thanked me for the information Now I am not feeling safe and concerned with people’s judgment. At one point I find out she had a event where she told me she just like have sex a lot with different people, because it was just sex. ok, but I would tell her, “I guess if you’re into having more than one person, who am I to tell what you can’t do.” I was a loyal woman and I just couldn’t see doing or thinking like that. After what Dr. Emeruwa had expressed how she was living out in society. In the back of my head I was worried that she would attempt to reach out to Alberto behind my back. After all, I had confided in her about how Alberto was sexually and etc. I even showed her a picture, that she stated she didn’t know him or been around him. Later, Alberto asked me a question about including Dr. Emeruwa that in turned with her statements and her behavior change set up red flags. I told Dr. Cathy my concerns about what I thought she might have gone behind my back and did something with him. Dr. Cathy assured me she did not and wouldn’t do that to me. One evening Dr. Emeruwa had told me she had communication with Armando to invest money.
I showed her a picture to confirm if it was my ex who almost had me and my children killed and endangered. Dr Emeruwa confirmed it was him and I thought was my past was long gone and now had come back to haunt me through my new boss. Albert had given me some advice and I took it and effetely applied it and I resigned for my safety. I didn’t want my ex to come back through her to harm me or the boys, also I didn’t want to be involved with anyone doing criminal activities.
Especially after I had heard thought heard through the grape-vine about things that was on her reviews and also what Dr., I Emeruwa told me she had sex with men , I also didn’t want my character tarnished or I be affiliated with anyone that can be used to make me look bad in society. I need to think of my future, and no one can do it but me. Please if you are reading this never tell anyone any information, people are so cruel and will not think twice to hurt you. I now consider watching my P’s and QA’s more and be aware of my surrounding’s more. I am to nice and people in my past has taken my niceness as a weakness. I later this month after being in Atlanta since I was 31-year-old, I need to be aware of local spots where certain restaurant and hotels to eat, you will find those other times of woman you dot want to be associated with there. Don’t be naïve like me and research ahead of time. Avoid being around this, for bombs may drop on you.
Make sure you don’t allow people to tarnish you. Fixing what others do to tarnish you may not be so easy to fix. Alberto and I still see each other. Last Friday on the 30th of august was beautiful. Alberto was kind and loving. However, it’s a shame he always must leave for work. Till this day I struggle trying to get him to understand my needs along with how his need requirements are. I do the best I can and remain loyal and faithful and I am still waiting on that ring. In the meantime I work, help others, pray god blesses my relationship with Alberto and I remain an honest woman for Alberto.
Thanks to Alberto who doesn’t judge and stated that what is in your past stays in the past, what counts is what we do now. For that I am great full and can look forward to tomorrow. I have learned a lot of hard lessons due to not knowing other rules of engagement and life style. Don’t be in fear of being judged but its worth the risk just to let people know the truth and hear it from me “Princess Di” instead of an outside source that hasn’t experienced or seen the horrors and the hurt I have endured. Always tread lightly. Ask yourself why this person is doing this. Gossip, fame, fortune and much more is used to climb to the top of the food chain. Just how many are willing to tell you the truth and hope what you have been through can either help someone else, prevent someone from going through the same thing, or prevent an inevitable tragedy. Humanity is a lot of things in society how we decide what that is and how to live it.
I am willing to risk that and what I went through to live. I am willing to risk letting others on events in my life in hopes it prevents any hardships coming their way. Sometimes it is worth the gamble. I hope in what I wrote can help you, help you relate to it or simple fact know we are humans and make mistakes. Just knowing we have that certain someone (like I have in my relationship with Alberto) to support us emotionally and physically through it all without judging or being afraid to be seen with in the social circles or social groups in fear of themselves being judged. Love sees no wrong, it heals and supports. That is why out of all my hardships, my relationship with Alberto has been the best. Alberto is supportive and there with no judgement on my past or what happens with he and I today in our relationship.
I wish for any of you guys out there can one day experience that feeling as well. There will be times you will try hard to avoid saying anything about past or whatever you may feel to talk about. When you are around people you are not familiar with or accustomed to, take my advice the less you know the better of you will be. Excuse yourself and walk around for a bit and enjoy the breeze of the wind or whatever you can be alone and its quite. Trusted me, you will be better off not knowing anything. It helped me to understand the rules of engagement on another level. Whoever said knowledge is useful. Well, can you at least elaborate, for Christ sake? Being a princess is hard work enough.
I had numerous experiences. One experience was people would use my past, a terrible mishap in my life or just a poor decision I had made against me to either build them up or for whatever selfish plan they have devised. Another was I found people tend to use your experiences or hard learned lessons from life for their selfish gain or to cover up the real truth they don't want you to know. Beware of red flags. You may find yourself in tag football without knowing you were in playing it. -stay tuned’